quoting quotes
2013-12-14
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou
― Maya Angelou
I need to stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy me. It's not exactly what I planned. In fact I never thought I'd be here today. And if I am here tomorrow, and the day after that. I will be just as surprised as I am right now. Every second, every minute and every day is a war.
A war in my head. A war in my disguisting body. And a big fat war in my everyday life. I hate my head, my body and my life. I hate everything I can't control.
I'm shaking, cause I'm genuinely afraid. I'm frozen, cause the lack of the good-feeling and energy. I'm afraid that I might kill myself if I look at myself in the mirror today.
I can't speak with words. Words can't carry me these days. I only speak the language of laughter, after too many tears. I hate the fact that I'm this way, but I REALLY can't help it. I'm sorry, but I really can't. It seems like this is the way I am. Is it weird that I hate myself?
I know I'm worthless. Useless. I know I'm weak. I know I am the worst person you can ever imagine. You don't need to rub it in my face. Hit me with a sledgehammer. It doesn't hurt as much as your words. Your look. And your attitude. helvete
